Thanking People

Thank has meaning to express to someone that you are pleased about or are grateful for something that they have done ¹.  Usually people will say thank or thank you  because they  want the other person to know we value what they have done for us and, maybe, encourage them to help us again in the future.  I ever read from a journal from positive psychologists, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Grant & Gino, 2010) the words ‘thank you‘ are no longer just good manners, they are also beneficial to the self. To take the best known examples, studies have suggested that being grateful can improve well-being, physical health, can strengthen social relationships, produce positive emotional states and help us cope with stressful times in our lives ². I personally like and agree with this statement. Unfortunately, in Indonesia especially in my environment, I seldom to hear people who say thank or thank you. This situation is very different if I compare with western people that I saw and read from some western movies and book where they will say thank for several situation.

Generally in the United States people will say thank you in several situation, for example when they get a gift, for a favor, for an offer of help, for a compliment and a wish of success, when asked about their health, for an invitation, when leaving a party or social gathering, and for services, such as being waited on in a store or restaurant ³. But in Indonesia generally the situation where a thank-you would be expected is when someone receives something from someone and for a favor.

In U.S. people will thank someone who offers to help, whether he or she accepts their help or refuse it politely. Offering to help are usually made only once, therefore, people do not politely to refuse the first time and thinking they will be asked again. But in Indonesia if someone offers to help, usually she or he just responses with saying yes or no, if she or he says no, they just say no without thank.  Thanking compliments and wishes of success also different between Indonesia and U.S. In U.S. When someone receives a compliment, whether on work, clothing, family, or anything else, they appropriate to say thank you, and to make a comment about the thing being complimented. Different with Indonesia, if someone gives compliment, for example about your nice shirt, usually they will response with smile but sometimes they will say thank too.  “Thank you “ is also used in reply to questions about  health, or that relative in U.S. for example if someone ask about how is your mother these days, usually they will reply the question with explaining how is the condition of her or his mother first, after that they will say thank. Not only for questions about health will they has say thanked. They also say thank for the invitation, whether or not they accept it. After someone get invitation, for example invitation for having dinner in someone house and she or he accepts it, usually when he wants to  take leave from the host he will say thank . At this time, the host may reply by thinking the guests for coming, saying that it was nice to have had them over. The last situation for saying thank is  Americans often thank each other for other services, for example in a restaurant, a waiter or waitress will say thank to customers when the order is taken, and customer will say thank to the waiter for the order is placed on the table. 

The expression of thanks in Indonesia and U.S. also different. In U.S. there are two kind of expression that usually people say, they are formal and non formal. For example in formal expression they say “ I’m very grateful for your invitation” and the less formal “ thanks a million !”  And the response usually “You’re very welcome “ for formal and “ don’t worry about it” for less formal response. While   In Indonesia usually people will say “Terima kasih”  both for formal and non formal situation, for the response they usually say “ iya, tidak apa-apa”.

Thanking is not only just a word, it is a special word that will give people positive emotional feeling. Although Indonesia and Western has different way and different situation to say thank, but in general the word thanks or “ terimakasih” has the same purpose to grateful for something that someone has done.

1 Cambridge advanced learner’s dictionary third edition

2 Dean, J. (2010). Why ‘Thank You’ Is More Than Just Good Manners. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 12, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/09/15/why-thank-you-is-more-than-just-good-manners/

3  Naturally Speaking , (Bruce Tillit& Mary N Bruder, Cambridge University Press : Cambridge, 1985 page 37 ).

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